Does he know?
by nepetation
Summary: Of that, Kenma isn't sure.


Kenma sometimes wondered if Kuroo knew how he felt; if he knew that he loved him. Yeah, they were dating, but the setter knew that didn't automatically mean anything, and being one who couldn't- wouldn't?- openly express himself, it made him nervous. Okay, there were a lot of things that made him nervous, like being caught in a crowd without one of his hand-helds, or talking to new people, or when other people would whisper and point at him specifically right before a match, but this was bigger than those things.

Kuroo loved him, he knew that. Kuroo made sure he knew that with every chance he had, through a shared water bottle after practice, or large hands gliding up and down his arms when he sat on his lap in chosen silence, or the soft smiles and way-too-tight embraces when they went too long without seeing each other. Of course he also did say it. Often.

He'd say it with a finger pressed to Kenma's shoulder when they passed in the hall; and he'd say it with that sly grin that could split Kenma's world in two after they won a match; and he'd mumble it, cautious but sure when they made up after an argument; and he'd say it on paper, with notes passed frequently between the two boys' desks a during shared classes.

And then Kenma would look down, or tighten his grip on their clasped hands, or hunch further over his game, or try to hold back the glimmer of a smile when he told Kuroo that he loved him too.

'Too'. That there was the problem; that tag-a-long word that made the setter feel like he was paying a compliment back with an obligatory compliment. Yes, it was the appropriate response, but there was something about it that Kanma feel parrot-like, fake, like Kuroo might think he was saying it because he had to. After all, he never initiated the "I love you"s, and if he were in the other's position, that would be Kenma's assumption.

He wanted to say it, but he was awkward and nervous, and it made him feel guilty that he was like this around Kuroo of all people. Shouldn't it come easy by now? He was always looking for a clear space to say it,but there never seemed to be a right time. He'd only hesitate too long, or deem the situation and timing inappropriate, or sometimes Kuroo just beat him to it.

So because he never actually said it, having only responded to the other's "I love you"s as was expected of him, did Kuroo really know?

Whether or not the captain could be sure of Kenma's romantic feelings, he was certainly very aware of how he felt otherwise (And why wouldn't he be? They'd known each other for as long as each could remember, after all). He always knew when the other boy was upset, or stressed, or what made him happy, or how to help him relax, or what made him bristle with annoyance even when his voice and face betrayed nothing, but kept quiet. Kuroo always knew.

That being said, it didn't take long at all for him to realise that something was wrong. It was a foggy day; they were walking home quietly, holding hands and kicking stones, when he asked the blond what was bothering him. Honestly, Kenma didn't know how he didn't see that coming.

"Lev borrowed my game after practice and when I got it back, it was wiped," he answered in a dull panic. Kuroo gave an unsatisfied sigh. "I was on the last boss battle. He had half of his health drained."

"Kenma..." Clearly he wasn't buying Kenma's excuse, but he was ashamed to be insecure about this. Should he really be wondering if Kuroo doubted him?

"There's a pebble in my shoe." He shook his foot, as if to display his discomfort at the invasive stone, imaginary as it may be.

"No." Kuroo stopped walking, pulled on his boyfriend's hand to stop him too, "No, I know something's wrong, and I know those aren't it." His whole face was pulled into a concerned frown, and his thumb swiped across Kenma's small knuckles.

Now that the blond thought about it, this wasn't that much of a big deal, right? He was drawing it out, mulling over this stupid worry of his, and, in turn, making Kuroo worry. He shouldn't be doing this. He was over-thinking things as per usual and getting worked up, and that in itself shamed him to tell Kuroo what was wrong. What was he afraid of, exactly? Surely, not Kuroo, who'd always been kind words and encouraging, smug looks, with expressions of pride for him?

He took an interest in the dirt suddenly, digging the toe of his shoe into it. Kuroo put his free hand on his arm, massaged the shoulder and ran his fingers over and under the sleeve of his shirt. Again, they were quiet, but this time it was awkward, uncomfortable, and Kenma was sure that the other would refuse to be the one to break it. He was stubborn like that. Generally, Kenma was too, but not today.

"I love you," He said softly, and looking up just enough to direct his voice at the taller boy's chest. There was a beat. And then Kuroo's hand was sliding off his arm, his grip on Kenma's hand loosened ever so slightly. He could feel his heart start to panic.

Kuroo's expression became guarded then, and he exhaled audibly through his nose. "Are- You aren't dying, right?"

"What? No? I'm fine, I just-" Why would he draw that conclusion? "In case you didn't… know … I just…" He let his voice falter and trail off, suddenly feeling very self conscious. Had he made this weird? Yes, he most definitely had.

The hand returned to his shoulder, made its way up to his head. Fingers played with his hair and Kuroo made an amused sound. "Well, I should hope you do. We are dating after all-" he froze, giving Kenma a confused, semi-horrified look, although the expression was a mock one,"We are dating, right? I haven't been completely misreading this? Us?"

He had an exaggerated tone to his voice, a spark of sarcasm in his eye, and a lopsided grin that just pulled for a laugh out of the other boy. It was his way of telling Kenma that he was being ridiculous, that of course he knew. What reason would he have to hold doubts for his feelings? In fact, to Kuroo, he was easy to read as words on a page, no matter what it came down to. Whether or not Kenma loved him had never been a question.

"No..." Kenma broke through a turn-away smile, and pressed into the hand still lingering on his head, "You read us okay."

 **/AN: first kuroken fic! Tell me if you liked it? ofc, magicsintheair was my beta/**


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